unresolved.

So many things to do. I'm losing sleep just thinking about it...

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I always used to think I knew what I was capable of, what kinds of things I could accomplish, and for the most part, that I'd always get what I wanted. Not to sound like a selfish brat or anything, but I always believed in the whole if you set your mind to it, you can make it happen type of thing. Lately, I've been feeling so doubtful. I know these feelings are here to scare me and are nothing more, but it's a scary thought-- not knowing what comes next in life, but of course that's what makes life so interesting.

Sometimes it's fun to think about the decisions you make and how they've really changed your path. I mean, you can never really play out two scenarios, so it seems that which ever one you've chosen is the "right" one for you. Does that make sense? Well I guess it's something like, don't you ever wonder what could have been different? Of course. But then it's like, what's the point of wondering because you can't ever know and it won't make a difference. But I don't know about that-- does it make a difference? Like right now I'm thinking, what if I don't make it through school? I mean, I'm certain I will, but there's that little ounce of doubt in me that makes me wonder. Or what if I think back further and say, what if I still went to school in San Diego?

How do you know if you've made the right decision? And then, if you've made the wrong one, you always have another chance, right? But wait, what if there comes a time when there are no more chances? (Ok, this is NOT about school because I love my school, but I'm just pondering about life in general; I used school as an example, don't get me wrong.) So, then that means that there will be situations where you just take things as they are and make the best out of them? OR do you seek out better solutions? I don't know.

Ok, let's say you have a really nice sweater, and let's say it has some sentimental value. Well, you've discovered that there's a huge hole in it. Do you go to the Gap and buy another one to replace it? Haha, whatever. I must be crazy. What am I saying?! Bottom line: if you had the chance to rewind, or fast forward, would you take that chance?

I give up on summer.

I am in a terrible mood and I don't know why so this is me trying to figure out why I'm in such a foul mood.

Number 1: It's summer and everyone is back home from school, but I'm still in school. Not only am I still in school, but I'm in my last four weeks of school which means I should go hide in a cave with my Macbook and stock up on Rockstars. Actually, I can't because caffeine gives me heart palpitations and I don't play with fire. So I want to play with my friends but Art Center has made my summer a living hell. A hot living hell-- it was 101 degrees today. Dang man. Oh yeah, wanted to go to bonfire but scholarship portfolio said no.

Number 2: Tissues for my issues. I don't think there is another reason besides the fact that I don't want to be in school right now and I just want to enjoy summer like all the other cool kids are doing. So I listed a number 2 reason for nothing. I want to go out and eat and play and go to the beach and stay up late for the hell of it, not because I have 213438 projects to finish. I'm sick of staying indoors, glued to my computer. I swear this laptop is burning a hole in my ovaries. Gross, right?

So I'm excited for the next four weeks to be over. I don't think the four weeks will be fun, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know if I've solved anything. I'm still in a pretty crummy mood. Stressed out to the max. I need a break. Pronto.